Well, I am not sure where to start.
I’ll start off my saying that we recently found out the I am pregnant. 7 weeks with the Due Date of January 1st, 2013.
This was not Tim’s or my plan. But it was God’s plan. He is the creator and giver of life. And as we’ve discussed having children in the past, we came to the conclusion that there did not seem to be a “perfect time” to begin having our own children, but surely we thought it would be a few years! We even considered not having children and only adopting, but we prayed from time to time for God’s will in that situation. Well here we are… a baby on the way! So it must be God’s perfect timing. And we are excited about Baby Jarvis!
Now, as you may know… we are leaving for Haiti this weekend for two weeks. We return for the summer, then end of July leave for Kenya for a year. But now there is a baby to consider. A lot to consider.
God, what are you telling us… Are you telling us to postpone? Are you telling us to cancel? Are you testing our commitment? What do we do?
The roads are half dirt and half concrete with a bajillion pot holes and wild speed bumbs, not to mention, crazy drivers and there is a lot of traveling down those bumby roads, is that safe? I would have to be extra cautious what I eat and drink. What about the healthcare in Kenya? Can I deliver a baby there? There is a lot to consider, God.
Tim and I have spent a lot of time in prayer about this. What do we do, what does this mean. And we’ve got an answer… actually 4 answers so far. And its still hard not to doubt, and question… was that really God… or just a random thing?
1st answer: Well, a dear and respected friend in Kenya, I emailed him, told him about our news of the baby and asked him about hospitals there in Kenya and his thoughts on the matter of living there while pregnant and for the delivery. I didn’t really expect an email back from him. I had sent 3 emails previously over the last 3 months, without a reply, and this would make the 4th. We had a misunderstanding and some hurt feelings between the both of us (sometimes I think its hard for us to understand each other’s cultures). So when he very quickly replied to this 4th email, I was surprised. He is a pastor, and he emailed me one of his most recent messages. The message was about Vision. He said that one of the main ingredients of a divine vision is that it is a gift from God. The vision is divinely inspired, not humanly manipulated. I immediately felt in my heart like God was telling me that we were trying to manipulate His plans for us, and changing them into our own plans that made us feel a bit more comfortable. This is the 1st reason we feel like we are still supposed to proceed as originally planned.
2nd answer: The day before I got the email mentioned above… Tim and I were discussing going to Kenya for the summer, then coming back to have the baby, then returning to Kenya next summer or fall. Before we found out we were pregnant, we were gonna move out this week, but now that we were talking about only going the summer, we put off moving out. Well, the day I get the email from Pastor, someone that Tim doesn’t even know comes up to him at work and offers him a bunch of boxes to move out. Coincidence? Or do you thing God’s urging us to move out because He still wants us to go to Kenya as originally planned?
3rd answer: Well, one night this week I was flipping through the index of my Bible browsing for unique baby names. I’m flipping along looking at names, if I find a name I liked, I would read underneath it the breif description of the person and it included the coresponding Bible verses (haha- I don’t wanna name my kid after some demon possessed rebel on accident!) So I’m just browsing along, looking at names and learning about people in the Bible, and I come across the word Guidance in the index. And underneath Guidance, it lists a few different topics along with the corresponding verses. One topic specifically jumps out at me. “Guidance when God doesn’t seem clear.” OHHHHH PERFECT!!!!!! Just what I need. I felt like I needed some guidance still with what God was telling us to do, I felt like he wasn’t being clear enough. SOOOOO, I go to the corresponding verse. Jeremiah 1:5-8. Many of you know what I’m about to type next.
The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. ” “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
Okay, God, I think this is starting to clarify some things. So your telling me, you had this all planned out for me before I was even born. And now I’m pregnant, and you have plans for baby Jarvis before he/she is even born. And you are telling me to stop thinking that I can’t do this, not while I’m pregnant, not while I’m so young, not until I learn more, not until I know we will have a safe delivery. God, I think you are telling me to GO. You are telling me to go where you send me, to not be afraid of what people will think, to not be afraid of the “you’re insane” comments, to not be afraid of what could happen in Kenya. God you are telling me that you are with us, and you will take care of us and rescue us. God you are sovereign, and nothing happens without you saying that it can happen! You can protect us there just as much as you can protect us here, and something can happen here just as it could happen there. God you are in control, and if you want us to go, then geez louize we will GO!
” Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” ( Romans 10:14-15 )
Lets just Love and be the hands and feet of Jesus